What is Anxiety? Understanding Yourself and Your Experience
Anxiety is a natural response to stress that many people experience. Anxious thoughts can impact each of us differently, with symptoms that sometimes feel confusing or unsettling.
You might find yourself wondering about questions like:
What is anxiety?
What causes anxiety?
How can you better understand its impact on the mind and body?
When feelings of anxiety arise, these are very real curiosities, and you're not alone in wanting to know a bit more. Anxious thoughts don’t have to mean you have an anxiety disorder or panic disorder, either. Being here right now and open to learning more about what you or a loved one is experiencing is a great step towards receiving support.
We'll walk you through a path to better understand anxiety and its symptoms and answer common questions that will help you feel more informed and empowered.
What is anxiety?
Anxiety is a feeling of worry or unease, likely tied to something that matters to you. When you care and want things to work out, you may experience nerves or racing thoughts about what may happen.
Anxiety is an universal human response to an overstimulating world. Many of us are juggling multiple roles and responsibilities and living fast-paced lives. That’s why it’s natural to see some anxious thoughts sneak up to keep us on guard at one point or another.
There are many forms of anxiety that can impact mental health from social anxiety to separation anxiety and many others. While your mind is just trying to prepare you for what's ahead, these thoughts can become intrusive and disruptive to your daily routine. No two people will have the exact same experience of anxiety, so it's important to tune in and take a curious lens to understand yours.
That brings us to talking about the difference between acute anxiety and chronic anxiety.
Acute anxiety
Acute anxiety can feel like a sudden tidal wave of intense worrying or fear. It may bring uncomfortable physical sensations such as a tight feeling in your chest or rapid breathing, thoughts such as, “I can’t handle this” or “What if everything goes wrong?” and potentially some urges to avoid or escape.
Usually, these internal experiences are related to a specific situation or event you want to be prepared for. Anxious moments tend to accompany whatever is happening in your world and may escalate as you move closer to the anticipated situation.
Acute anxiety presents uncomfortable feelings and thought patterns, but it's helpful to remind yourself that they are temporary (though we know it may not feel like that at the moment). As you learn what situations, places, and people might be causing you to feel anxious, you can better understand what you need to feel more grounded.
Chronic anxiety
Chronic anxiety can feel a bit more persistent, and the feelings of worry or underlying tension may be ongoing. Those who experience chronic anxiety may feel like it impacts their day-to-day life and they may struggle to focus on anything else.
Unlike acute anxiety, there may not be a clear reason for worrying or a specific situation to map the feelings to, which can make it all the more frustrating and challenging to manage. The constant presence of anxious thoughts is something to become curious about as you learn about options for support and grounding.
Sometimes things escalate and showcase opportunity for more support, and types of anxiety disorders can include:
Social anxiety disorder
Separation anxiety disorder
Specific phobias or excessive fear of specific objects, places, or situations
What causes anxiety?
Young professionals and highly driven individuals who wear all the hats can experience anxiety in many areas of life. The underlying cause of anxious thoughts is unique to each individual, but generally, there are a few places to place your attention as you get curious.
Examples of anxiety triggers across career, relationships, and social life
Deadlines: High expectations and tight timelines to accomplish tasks can ignite more pressure to perform and meet goals.
Uncertainty: Not knowing how a situation will play out or stepping into unknown territory can bring out anxious thoughts that can result from the lack of control.
Finances: Managing money, from paying off debt to comparing how much you "should" be made to those around you or online, can amplify anxiety.
Overwhelm: Simply doing too much, whether it's in your control or not, can cause anxiety to appear as you worry about getting things done or doing enough.
Relationships: Maintaining healthy relationships with family, friends, and romantic partners while keeping up with a busy work schedule can be exhausting, and the fear of letting someone down can cause a lot of anxiety.
Expectations of self: Striving for excellence and perfection can lead to constant anxiety as you try to meet standards that only get higher.
Conflict: Difficult conversations, misunderstandings, and future planning can all be elements of our friendships, partnerships, and family dynamics that can cause anxiety to come up.
Socializing: Being around people you don't know, not feeling like you can be your authentic self, or thinking about how others will perceive you can spark anxiety.
Any of these feel familiar? Hopefully, you’re starting to see that many people experience overthinking and worry occasionally. You are not alone if you react to situations with fear or worry. Let’s take a deeper look to understand what anxiety feels like as you start to recognize when it may be heightened within you or others around you.
What anxiety feels like: Understanding yourself deeper
We'll preface this with a message we can't repeat enough: there truly is no singular experience of anxiety. The information we'll share below gives an idea of what an anxious individual could sense within themselves.
Do I have anxiety? Getting to know common anxiety symptoms
Anxiety has this way of making your head spin in circles with the "what if" or "should I" thoughts that seem to create a confusing and often overwhelming internal conversation. For some, anxiety throws the body into a mix of tension points, heart racing, and sometimes full-blown panic attacks.
Here are a few ways people describe their various encounters with anxious thoughts:
Restless
Out of focus
Buzzing noise
Social phobia or feeling isolated in social situations
Difficulty relaxing
Not present in daily activities
Irritability
Intense fear
An “always on” mind
Uneasy
Selective mutism
Excessive worry
Uncomfortable
Tense
High alert
There's quite an array here, and there's no real rhyme or reason why we get the unique combo that makes up our experience. These descriptions can also help you visualize what it might be like to feel anxiety or the impact on daily life that someone else might feel, too.
What does anxiety do to your body?
Anxiety can trigger your body’s fight-or-flight response. We love this response because it’s our bodies’ way of caring for us when threats arise. You may also loathe this response when it causes you to feel physically and emotionally overwhelmed as you walk into our office.
When it comes to anxiety, the perceived threat is usually not as dangerous as the body might think it is. Our bodies can’t necessarily tell the difference between a big boulder rolling in your direction or that meeting your boss just scheduled on your calendar without context.
Our fight or flight response will still kick in as if you’ve got to run for your life, which can cause physical reactions you’ll notice alongside those anxious thoughts.
Physical symptoms of anxiety might look like:
Muscle tension and tightness
Shallow breath
Trouble sleeping
Loss of appetite
Blood pressure challenges
Intense sugar or caffeine cravings
Sweating
Digestive issues
Overheating
Taking in this list can feel like that moment you Google, “Is (insert random symptom) normal”? Anything you’re experiencing can be met with a curious lens and an opportunity to learn more about the message your body might be sending. Often, symptoms can shine a light on ways to care for anxiety.Breathe deeper: What is my anxiety trying to tell me?
Breathe deeper: What is my anxiety trying to tell me?
AAnxiety and its symptoms are here to keep you safe. While thoughts may arise due to a certain circumstance, searching for any larger meaning or pattern can be helpful. Sometimes, you'll find something calling for your attention or adjustment. Other times, you may just need grounding and safety within yourself.
For many people who experience anxiety around work, relationships, or social life, there's an opportunity to look at what's on your plate. Anxiety may be your body's way of asking for a slowdown, time for self-care or getting more intentional about how you spend your time and energy.
It may also be underlining some fears or worries you haven't quite addressed that need some attention. This is where some journaling, time to connect with yourself, or space to process with a therapist or coach can feel really healing. Remember, you're never on your own when it comes to anxiety.
Anxiety FAQs: Getting curious together
As you think about anxiety and start to visualize the commonalities and differences between your experience and someone else’s, you may have some lingering questions. We’ve always got your back and love the curious lens of wanting to know more so you can feel equipped with the most supportive approaches to take in your life.
While these are just our thoughts, we encourage you to continue exploring this vast topic with more perspectives that spark new conversations daily.
How can I tell if someone has anxiety?
Recognizing anxiety in someone else is not always a clear path, but you may start to notice changes in their behavior and expressions. For many people, anxiety is an experience that they like to keep private and may not understand fully themselves. The best thing to do when you sense a loved one may be experiencing anxiety is to be there for them when and if they're ready to share, reiterating that safety that anxiety can leave us seeking.
A simple "You always know I'm here for you" or "Is there anything I can do to help?" can go a long way. Not everyone will respond well to being asked directly about anxiety if they are not ready to talk or don't resonate with the term. It's all about loving and respecting their journey while being there as a steady force they can rely on.
What is anxiety like when you feel it for the first time?
When you feel anxiety for the first time, it can be uncomfortable, just like any new experience. You might notice you're fixated on a certain pattern of thoughts centered around worry or what's coming up. You might also notice the physical body is tense, jittery, or displaying some symptoms you're not used to.
While first-time anxiety can be confusing, remembering that it's a natural response to stress or uncertainty plays an important role in helping you avoid sinking into thoughts of self-judgment and shame. Self-compassion and discovery can be a great way to feel more empowered, learn what your anxiety may be telling you and how to build a support toolkit.
How do you tell someone you have anxiety?
This is such a good question because choosing to talk about anxiety can be a great step to loosen its grip a bit and seek the support of those around you.
Here are a few tips we'd offer for anyone who wants to tell someone they have anxiety:
Choose the right time and place: Find a private and comfortable setting where you can have uninterrupted conversation and when all parties are calm and relaxed.
Lean into honesty and directness: Share your feelings from the heart, naming them as clearly as possible to help the other person understand your unique experience. For example, "I've been struggling with anxiety lately, and it's making it hard to focus at times, and I wanted to share that with you so you know why I may be acting differently."
Share what helps you: Talk about what has felt supportive (especially if it's their company) when you're anxious. If you already know the specific actions you'd want them to take in these moments, let them know. If not, you can simply ask for understanding as you learn about yourself. For example, someone with social anxiety could want support with exposure therapy by making small steps to visit new places together.
Answer questions: It's always good to prepare that people will ask some questions. Approaching them with grace, especially for those who are confused by anxiety, can help you gain support and seek more information together. People may want to hear that you’re not in actual danger, and that your experiences are not risk factors for more severe mental disorders. Don't feel like you need all the answers. Saying you don't know is perfectly fine.
Emphasize where you're at: Be as open as possible about how anxiety is impacting you. If it's feeling more severe, it's helpful to let those you trust know so you don't feel alone.
Ask for support: If you feel comfortable, ask for their support in managing your anxiety or seeking professional help with tools like cognitive behavioral therapy. This could involve them listening without judgment, being patient during difficult moments, or helping you find a therapy space you feel comfortable in. Anxiety medications also exist for those who may be recommended this approach from a doctor.
Exploring therapy for anxiety
Our team at Modern Therapy supports our community every day with the many ways anxiety presents itself in life. Short-term relief and coping mechanisms that feel like a constant ping-pong match between "I'm okay" and "OMG, this is too much" indicate that you may benefit from deeper support.
Our therapists and coaches are here to see you, welcome the experience you're walking through with the biggest hearts, and guide you to self-understanding, self-compassion, and self-trust. Sometimes stress management techniques are helpful and sometimes therapy can offer more effective treatments to understand the causes of anxiety disorders.
Our talk therapy for anxiety approach is down-to-earth and conversational, informed by the latest research. We utilize well-established, empirically based practices throughout our work to give you the highest quality of care.
If you're feeling curious about taming the anxiety beast or proactively getting to know what these tendencies are all about, we are here for you every step of the way.
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