Does anyone else feel this whole-body reaction even to the word “change”? That stirring in your chest, a quickening heartbeat, a tightening in your stomach, or maybe a feeling of clenching hard to your current situation as you brace for what’s next–these are all valid reactions when the change feels uncomfortable.

Maybe you’re dreading an upcoming shift, in the trenches of navigating change right now, or just nervous that someday things won’t be the same. Whether the change is something positive like a new job or opportunity to grow or something more challenging like grief or an unexpected health outcome, the fear can still feel equally as intense.

Sometimes, our reaction to change can be a moment to check in with ourselves and understand what’s causing distress or discomfort inside with more clarity. Instead of judging yourself or feeling stuck (like, will I feel like this forever??) maybe this is a moment to build self-understanding and trust in your ability to enter the next chapter feeling a little bit more grounded.

So, let’s talk about it!

A moment to feel seen

It can be oh so easy to look around and question why the people around you aren’t feeling the same level of distress or worrying about a change you’re encountering together. It’s also common to blame ourselves and wish the overwhelm of change didn’t take such a mental and physical toll.

We want you to know that’s completely valid, AND you also deserve to give yourself some grace as you understand a bit more about where fear is stemming from and the human nature that follows. Often, fear is like an added layer of protection we build to take care of ourselves, and it doesn’t make you weak or any less than anyone else. It’s also very likely that others around us may also grapple with change, but we miss that when we compare their outsides to our insides.

We’re built to seek comfort and that’s usually in what we know. The moment something new pops up or our comfort is at risk, it’s only natural that our protectors rise up to put us on alert (hello anxiety, stress, and numbing out). That’s also why finding ways to seek comfort and remind yourself that you’re safe with the unique ways your nervous system needs to feel grounded can make all the difference.

This takes time, and learning a bit more about your fear of change is a great first step.

So, why is change so hard?

At its core, change is uncertain, and uncertainty triggers our brain’s survival response. The human brain is designed to keep us safe, and one of the ways it does this is by resisting anything that feels unpredictable. Even when we intellectually understand that a change might be good for us, our emotional and physiological responses don’t always get the memo right away.

Here are a few common reasons change feels so overwhelming:

Predictability is ideal: Even if a situation isn’t great for us, there’s comfort in its predictability. We know what to expect, which makes it feel safer than the unknown.
Fear of failure: What if we make the change and it doesn’t work out? The fear of messing up or regretting our decision can keep us paralyzed in indecision.
Loss of identity: Future changes often shift how we see ourselves. If your identity is wrapped up in a job, relationship, or role you’re leaving behind, stepping into something new can feel like losing a piece of yourself.
The weight of other people’s opinions: Sometimes, fear of judgment or disappointing others makes change feel impossible. We don’t want to be seen as making the “wrong” choice or struggling through the process.
Emotional resistance: Even positive change can bring grief. Letting go of something familiar, even if it wasn’t serving us, can feel like a loss. Our emotions need time to catch up, and resistance is part of that process.

Understanding the anxiety that comes with change

Anxiety and fear go hand in hand with change, often showing up in ways we don’t expect. It’s not uncommon to feel the anxiety rise up way after a change is announced or happens, or come in waves that vary in intensity.

Maybe you’re feeling restless, overthinking every possible outcome, avoiding making a decision, or even experiencing physical symptoms like trouble sleeping, headaches, or digestive issues. Your body and mind are reacting to the uncertainty ahead, trying to protect you from perceived danger.

-> Learn more about the mind-body connection.

This is completely normal. Anxiety isn’t a sign that something is wrong with you, it just means that your nervous system is on high alert. And while anxiety can feel unbearable, it’s not actually a stop sign. It’s simply information that something in your life is shifting, and you may need support as you navigate it. We’ll help you listen in to what your system needs, knowing this looks a little bit different for everyone.

Getting curious: Gentle approaches to move through fear and embrace change

Getting rid of all fear and suddenly calling in every change imaginable is well… not the goal here. We don’t want to change the way your mind works around change entirely, but maybe some gentle curiosity on what it would look like to start to embrace changes that are in front of you can soften the fear response.

The following approaches are suggestions to add to your toolkit, but we encourage you to see what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

Acknowledge and validate your feelings

The more you’re able to name the feelings associated with change, the more you can feel a sense of release. In some cases it’s understandable that you might not want to express how things are impacting you for the sake of others or coming off ungrateful for a good opportunity. While that shows your values of respecting others, it’s also okay to share what you’re experiencing.

Being able to openly express your feelings can help you begin to validate why they’re here and ease the tension of holding it all in. That could look like:

Journaling
Meditation or mindfulness
Taking a quiet moment to think about how you feel
Exploring self-kindness or self-compassion exercises
Talking to someone you trust
Opening up to a therapist or coach

Identify what’s within your control

Fear of change often comes from feeling powerless or like your life is being decided for you without much you can do about it. We definitely can’t control everything, but in any situation there are a few things we maintain power over, such as:

Our actions
Self-care approaches
Where we place our energy
Our decisions

Reflecting on these areas of control can sometimes point to areas where steps can be taken, no matter how small, to feel prepared and resilient when change happens. Having a plan, whether that’s as actionable as “I’m going to start packing one box every week leading up to the move to take my time processing my sadness of leaving,” or as mindset-oriented as “I’m going to remember how grateful I am for the good memories when my worry starts to creep in, and give myself a little self-hug to validate that it’s okay to feel this way.”

-> Take a mindful deep dive into perfectionism and how it may play a role.

Tune in to what you need to feel grounded

Facing a mild or intense fear of change is a moment where self care can become vital, and the first step to nourishing yourself is to know what you need. What your body and mind crave right now might be different from your usual wind-down or recharge activities.

It can be helpful to reflect for a moment on:

What your body might ask you for if it could speak in this moment
What would feel like ease and peace right now
What opportunities there might be to slow down and be with your feelings
What (if anything) is causing your fear or anxiety to rise, and how you might set boundaries that protect your peace

The most important thing to remember about leaning into self care is to allow whatever intuitively comes up to guide you, without guilt or judgement of taking what you need.

Reframe the fear

From a grounded place, it may be helpful to allow fear in the room and see where there’s an opportunity to shift your perspective. Sure, there are parts of it that might feel scary, unknown, or even straight-up dreadful.

But, are there any parts of this change or the outcome that could be valuable for you? What if it’s leading you to something even better?

A simple yet powerful question to ask yourself is: “What else could be true?” This helps disrupt fear-based thinking and opens the door to new possibilities without disregarding anything that’s feeling uneasy.

Take things one step at a time

Part of that overwhelming feeling and wave of fear that can set in around change is thinking too far ahead. It’s so hard to think about what the long-term outcome of a change might be and not feel taken back by how different it can seem.

The reality is that changes take time and happen gradually, especially if we choose to take things one step at a time. When you feel your mind moving to what this looks like next month, next year, or even five years down the road, try to bring yourself back to a place where you’re just looking at tomorrow.

What might this feel like tomorrow?
What small step toward adjustment can you take?
What would help you feel comfortable with what will be different just 24 hours from now?

Breaking things down into manageable steps helps keep the anxiety from spiraling out of control. Practicing gratitude can also really help here.

Be gentle with yourself

As much as you might want to know how things play out, reminding yourself that change isn’t linear can open space to be gentle as you get used to it all. Some days you may feel totally overtaken by it all, but some days you may also feel like you can step into your bravery and take it on.

It’s okay for things to ebb and flow through the adjustment period and the more you can meet any version of yourself with compassion and grace, the easier it will be to navigate the time between what was and what will be. Embrace that messy middle!

->These exercises can support compassion with yourself

Reflect on past changes you’ve overcome

When in doubt (because it’s totally normal to have those moments), think about a time in the past when you faced a big change. Being here right now means you came out on the other side of it, so it can be really helpful to remember what gave you strength then or what you learned about yourself that can help remind you of your ability to tackle this now.

Big shifts like losing a friendship, making the transition from high school to college, starting a new role, or welcoming in a new family member can be times to reflect back on. Whether you can vividly recall changes or not, you have been in moments that felt challenging before and remembering your resilience to get past them is an empowering act.

Lean into support

Sometimes change feels like it's impacting you differently than others or it may revolve around a topic that’s complex for anyone other than you to fully understand. Don’t let that make you feel like you have to tackle it alone.

Whether it’s talking to a trusted friend, therapist, coach, a support group or another form of professional help, sharing your fears can make them feel less overwhelming. Sometimes, just saying “I’m scared, but I’m doing my best” out loud can bring a sense of relief.

Frequently asked questions: Fear of change

Is there a word for fear of change?

Yes, it’s called metathesiophobia! While it’s not a super common term, it’s the fear of change or fear of making changes in one’s life. This can range from feeling anxious about big life changes, like moving to a new city, to smaller changes, like adjusting your daily routine.

What is the fear of changing?

The fear of changing is a natural human response to the unknown. When we make a change, we’re stepping out of our comfort zone, and our brains tend to panic a little because it’s unfamiliar territory. Change can feel threatening because it challenges our sense of security, and we often worry about losing what we’ve worked hard to build. Whether it's changing careers, relationships, or even habits, the fear often comes from not knowing what lies ahead.

Why do people fear change?

People fear change for a variety of reasons, but the main one tends to be fear of the unknown. We’re wired to seek comfort and predictability, and change shakes up that sense of stability. There’s also a fear of failure—what if the change doesn’t turn out as expected? Or a fear of losing control over the outcome? Change can also bring up past experiences where change led to disappointment or pain, so we project those past fears onto new situations.

Is being scared to change a phobia?

It can be, but not always. A phobia is typically an intense, irrational fear that disrupts daily life, while being scared to change is often a more general feeling of discomfort or anxiety. If the fear of change becomes overwhelming and prevents you from moving forward in a significant way, it might be categorized as a phobia—like metathesiophobia mentioned earlier. But for many people, it’s just a normal fear that can be worked through with time, support, and self-compassion.

Is perfectionism a coping skill for fear of change?

Oh, absolutely—it totally can be. Perfectionism often shows up as a way to create a sense of control when things feel uncertain or scary. If change feels overwhelming, the perfectionist mindset can make you believe that if you just do everything exactly right, you’ll avoid failure, discomfort, or unpredictability.

But the tricky part? Perfectionism doesn’t actually protect you from change—it just makes the process way more stressful. Instead of allowing space for growth and adaptability, it can keep you stuck in a cycle of overthinking and self-criticism.

So if you’re noticing perfectionism creeping in, it might help to ask: What am I really afraid of? What would happen if I let things be a little messy? Because real change—the kind that sticks—happens when we give ourselves permission to be imperfect along the way.

Final Thoughts: You’re capable of more than you think

Fear of change is real, but it doesn’t have to dictate your life. It’s okay to feel afraid and move forward anyway. Change is part of growth, and while it’s not always comfortable, it often leads to things we never could have imagined for ourselves.

So if you’re standing at the edge of something new and feeling that familiar knot of anxiety in your stomach, take a deep breath. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You just have to take the next step, no matter how small.

And if you need support along the way, we’re here for you. At Modern Therapy, we help people like you navigate life’s transitions with compassion, understanding, and tools to move forward with confidence. Because you don’t have to face change alone—you deserve a space where your fears are met with kindness and your growth is celebrated.

Whenever you’re ready, we’re here to help. Until then, be gentle with yourself. You’re doing better than you think.

Feel supported with a caring therapist

Fear of Change: Why It Feels So Hard and How to Navigate