8 Self Kindness Exercises to Grow Closer to You
When was the last time you truly complimented yourself, felt pride in how far you’ve come, cut yourself some slack, or gave yourself the credit you deserve? As you move through the human experience, understanding how you relate to yourself is just as important as getting good sleep and staying hydrated for your overall well-being and mental health.
Self-kindness and self-compassion allow you to wrap the same care you radiate for the people you love in your life around yourself. And if it feels hard to access this mindset, know you’re not alone in your hesitation.
Sometimes, our inner critic can protect us from vulnerability, shame, guilt, or fear of what happens when we drop the ball or operate imperfectly. Trust us, we get it!
Let’s embrace the imperfection and the slow steps toward shifting from inner critic to inner advocate. You don’t have to figure it all out to begin making shifts. Just by being here, you’re already taking a meaningful first step in strengthening that kinder sense of self.
So today, we’ll explore 8 self-kindness and compassion exercises to learn what it's like to be gentle with yourself and ease into habits of gratitude and affirmation for who you are right now.
What Is Self Compassion?
Self-compassion is about treating yourself with the same kindness, care, and understanding as you would a close friend. We’re all human, but it's easy to be our own worst critic when we hold higher standards for how we want to live or feel pressure to be a certain way.
The human experience isn’t perfect. Everyone struggles, makes mistakes, feels pain, and sometimes responds to situations in a less-than-ideal way. When we don’t practice self-compassion, it can feel like holding a grudge against ourselves, which only intensifies when our energy levels, mood, and bodies naturally ebb and flow.
Examples of moments when self-compassion may be needed:
Despite a goal of working out 4 times a week, you only got to the gym once
You slept in the past your alarm and missed your entire morning routine
Your nerves got the best of you in a big presentation
You forgot a big milestone in your friend’s life
You took on too much
You said something you regret
You’re feeling a more extended period of sadness or depression
There are so many moments in life when we can afford some more positivity and tenderness. What if you showed yourself some grace instead of beating yourself up or questioning yourself in these moments?
Usually, the outcome we’re looking for is not to let this moment happen again. Still, just like a toddler won’t respond to constant reprimand and no praise, we need some acknowledgment of the effort we’re putting in and what we really need is to be able to grow and move forward.
Compassion in action: =That week of burnout - when you took on too much, slipped on a deadline, and ended up sick - might have been a sign that you need to slow down and give yourself time to recharge. Recognizing the power of self-compassion, instead of seeing it as a weakness, can help you prepare for the next time burnout creeps up and get ahead of it without judging yourself.
-> Burnout symptoms that signal you might need a break
What Is Self-Kindness?
Self-kindness is a cornerstone of self-compassion. It involves actively being gentle, warm, and forgiving toward yourself, especially when life feels overwhelming and chaotic.
Rather than criticizing yourself for falling short, self-kindness encourages you to speak to yourself with more of a loving tone that’s encouraging, knowing you deserve that.
Self-compassion and self-kindness require practice, but they’re incredibly rewarding. Positive affirmations can help create a more supportive inner world where one can grow, heal, and thrive.
Exercises for Self Kindness and Self Compassion to Deepen Your Connection with Yourself
Everything starts with trying. Like any self-care or wellness practice, finding what works best for you comes down to what feels right. So, take a look below, pick something that catches your eye, and see how it feels. Be honest with yourself—what works for someone else might not be your thing, and that’s okay.
And here’s the thing: we encourage you to try each exercise more than once. The first time you try something new, it’s normal to feel a little awkward or unsure. Sometimes that discomfort is just part of stepping out of your comfort zone, and other times it’s a sign the practice might not be the best fit for you. Giving it another go can help you figure out which it is. Be gentle with yourself—it’s all part of the process.
Each exercise is meant to be empowering and uplifting, but the one that sticks in your unique lifestyle and mind will have the most impact. Take your time, ease in, and enjoy the process.
1. Practice Mindfulness
Mindful self-compassion is the intentional choice to be in the present moment with your feelings, especially the tough ones, without judgment. Instead of putting off your emotions to continue your day or feeling like they’re easier to ignore than get swept up, gently acknowledge them with kindness.
How to practice
Pause momentarily the next time you feel overwhelmed, angry, sad, or scared. Find a space to step away from screens and other people, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and silently say, "This is hard, and that’s okay. I can handle this with kindness."
You don’t have to have the answers, but you may start to notice where the emotion shows up in your body and imagine sending warmth and care to that spot, like comforting a friend. You can practice mindful self-compassion proactively, using Dr. Kristin Neff’s incredible library of audios, or make it a more impromptu moment when you need it most.
2. Write Letters of Self-Compassion
Sometimes, writing it out makes that kinder voice easier to access. Writing letters to yourself can transform how you speak to your inner self and process moments that feel challenging or like you are becoming more critical of yourself than usual. You can think of a friend or family member in the situation you find yourself in with the same difficult thoughts and feelings, then offer some gentle words of understanding and encouragement.
You can also imagine writing a letter or email to a younger version of yourself when you feel like flaws or shortcomings are triggering perfectionism. How would you want to be guided? What would you want to hear to navigate difficult feelings? How can you cut yourself some slack in your experience?
How to practice: Pick a recent struggle or mistake and write a letter focused on words of encouragement. Start with, "Dear [Your Name], I know you’re feeling [describe how you feel], and I want you to know it’s okay." Acknowledge what happened, highlight your efforts and intentions despite the outcome, consider how this will help you grow, and offer hope about what lies ahead.
When you’re done, maybe you ask, “What do I need right now?” to find some level of action to support and care for yourself. The letter may offer clarity you weren’t able to access before.
3. Cultivate Compassionate Curiosity and Kindness
Your inner critic might be loud, but it’s often trying to protect you in its own way. Instead of pushing it away or trying to silence it, consider approaching it with curiosity and kindness. That critical voice often shows up because it thinks danger is near—it might be fueled by shame, guilt, or fear, and it’s doing its best to get your attention. So, what if we just took a moment to listen in?
Over time, this practice can help your mind lean into a more compassionate voice—a voice that feels nurturing and supportive. Eventually, this voice can become second nature, showing up for you in those moments when you’re faced with big decisions or reflecting on challenges.
How to practice: The next time your inner critic starts to pipe up, you might ask: “What do you want me to know right now?” or “What are you afraid will happen if I don’t listen to you?” Simply acknowledging it with a gentle, “I hear you,” can create space for understanding and self-compassion.
4. Engage in a Self-Kindness Meditation
If you find it hard to tap into self-kindness and compassion at the moment, or it doesn’t feel as natural, you might want to set aside time to sit down and meditate on it. Self-kindness meditations can help you step outside the daily life stressors and be intentional with a dedicated space to allow your self-criticism to soften and feel centered.
How to practice: Whether you explore self-kindness meditations online or want to lead your own, find a time in your day that you’re least likely to be interrupted, go to a quiet space, close your eyes, and allow yourself to feel in your body entirely. You may repeat: "May I be kind to myself. May I be patient with myself. May I accept myself as I am." Notice how these words feel intuitively, arriving at what resonates most for you over time.
We also want to hold space for those who aren’t feeling like hearing their own voice is the most comfortable in wishing yourself well right now. What if instead, you had a close friend, partner, or someone you trust and love record this for you to listen back to when you need it most?
5. Develop a Gratitude Mindset
At the heart of self-compassion is gratitude for your strengths and growth opportunities. Gratitude shifts your focus from what’s missing to what’s present and can be a gentle reminder to see the good even in the most difficult times. You may be able to access gratitude for others easily but find it harder to appreciate all your mind and body do for you. It takes practice, but as you use more gratitude in your responses to stress or uncertainty, it will start to feel more natural.
How to practice: Every evening, as you’re winding down for the day, think of one thing you’re grateful for about yourself. It could be as simple as "I did my best today" or as specific as "I had the hard conversation that helped me set that boundary."
6. Creating a Compassionate Wellbeing Routine
Self-care is about asking for what you need- a day to yourself or simply getting your body moving. It looks different for everyone, but finding what helps you feel your best is how to keep self-care simple and consistent.
It’s also important to note that activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul can change over time, so checking in with yourself keeps you in tune with what might bring you peace and rejuvenation in this season of life.
How to practice: Reflect on the last time you felt challenged or low and ask yourself honestly what would have helped you feel calm and cared for? Could you create a list of five things you can do for yourself and some things you can ask for support from others to see what’s practical to build into your routine?
7. Practice Empathy Affirmations
Negative thoughts can make it difficult to accept our mistakes or setbacks.That pressure of feeling like we didn’t do enough can make it hard to find compassion, but self-forgiveness is how we release that weight and allow ourselves to move forward.
How to practice: Write down something you’ve been holding onto. Then, place your hand over your heart and say, "I forgive myself for [mistake]. I am learning, and I am human." Say it as many times as you need to until it begins to resonate. Tear up the paper as a symbolic act of letting go.
8. Set Boundaries to Gain Resilience
Ahhh, setting boundaries. We all likely know we need to do this, but it can feel challenging to execute. Boundaries honor your emotional, physical, and mental well-being, and they’re a great way to show yourself care. As you notice yourself needing a break or feeling surrounded by pressure, it can be a sign that a boundary is required.
Boundaries can help you build a more supportive relationship with any aspect of life that brings out your critical voice, feelings of anxiety, or impacts your emotional wellbeing.
How to practice: Identify one area where you feel stretched too thin. From there, ask yourself if you can say “no” or ask for a boundary to help you feel more restored. You might think about phrases like, "I appreciate the offer, but I can’t commit to that right now," or “I’m free Saturday, but I’m using it as a day for myself to recharge.” Start small and notice how it feels to protect your energy.
-> Self care strategies for complex dynamics
Create Space to Build Your Self Compassion Practice
Everyone deserves a strong, empowering force in their corner—someone who helps you reconnect with your inner confidence and cares for you, inside and out. I totally get it—finding time for self-care can be a challenge when your plate is already overflowing with responsibilities, expectations, and the never-ending pressure to “do it all.”
And when you do find a moment to pause, that inner critic might step in, reminding you of everything you haven’t done or where you “should” be by now. It can leave you feeling stuck or overwhelmed like you're never doing enough.
That’s where coaching can offer you a safe space. This is where we can take a big collective exhale and explore how to prioritize our well-being. You’re not alone in navigating the complexities of being a modern professional.
I’m here to advocate for you and help you create space for yourself that feels truly aligned. Together, we’ll gently unpack your limiting beliefs, reconnect with your core values, and work toward building your confidence and self-compassion—step by step.
I’ll be with you to help you find that balance between “doing” and simply being so you can show up as your authentic self with compassion and grace. Let’s create a path where you feel supported, held, and empowered to embrace your full potential.
Frequently Asked Questions: Self Compassion
How can I start practicing self-compassion with no prior experience?
Start small—treat yourself like you would a good friend. Maybe it’s taking a few moments to breathe deeply or noticing when you’re being hard on yourself and softening that inner dialogue. Little acts of kindness to yourself can go a long way.
What are some common barriers to self-compassion, and how can I overcome them?
Self-criticism and negative emotions often get in the way. When you notice those harsh thoughts, pause and question them—ask yourself if you’d say the same thing to someone you care about. It’s all about practicing gentleness and patience with yourself.
It’s also super common to think that self-compassion will make you weak or you’ll go too easy on yourself that you might let go of any level of consistency or discipline. That’s completely understandable, and we’d love to share some research on the way compassion can also lead to increased energy for the things you want to show up for. An article published by the National Library of Medicine by Dr. Kristin Neff shows a direct link between self-compassion and emotional resilience, stable sense of self-worth, and confidence.
Can self-compassion exercises improve relationships with others?
Absolutely. When you’re kind to yourself, it’s easier to be empathetic and understanding toward others. It naturally strengthens how you connect and communicate with the people in your life.
How often should I engage in self-kindness activities for maximum benefit?
There’s no perfect schedule—it’s about finding what feels good for you. Even a few minutes daily, like journaling or taking a mindful walk, can make a difference over time. Regular small efforts add up!
